It’s been three weeks now since your self-diagnosis, and you’re struggling to soldier on and fight this chronic and ever-deteriorating illness. The ten boxes of Kleenex, five packets of Tylenol and infinite bowls of chicken and vegetable soup have failed to even slightly relieve the agonizing symptoms that we’ve heard you describe in great detail for the past month.
Seeing you in such distress has inflicted great pain on us. You look so poorly and helpless lying in that bed, only stirring occasionally to catch “the game”, or come down to the kitchen to further emphasize how truly unwell you are feeling. Your workplace is equally concerned, especially because two thirds of their male workforce appears to have contracted this tragic illness alongside you.
We are lucky. Despite showing similar symptoms, this illness is gender-specific and thankfully, we are unable to contract it. We are privileged enough to be able to go about our everyday lives, and only experience half the ailments that you do. When we get home from our nine-to-five day, we have the pleasure of not only taking care of our normal duties, but tending to your every need as you battle through this malaise.
You must remember: you are not alone. Man Flu affects every man at some point in their lives, and renders them incapable of doing anything for days, weeks, and even months. We’ll be with you every step of the way in your recovery, while simultaneously doing the laundry, making dinner, running errands, doing schoolwork, walking the dog, taking out the garbage and performing the tasks that you ever-so-willingly normally carry out.
As the saying goes, the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem. You certainly have that one covered.